Let us first examine what is due to her from men. The Holly Qur'an says:
"Men are maintainers of women with the bounties which God 'has
bestowed more abundantly on some of them than on others; and with what they may
spend out of their possessions" (Qur’an 4:34).
In a Muslim society therefore the man has full responsibility for the
maintenance of his family. This is not only a moral but also a legal
obligation. Anything a wife earns is her own to dispose of, either to use it
herself or to contribute it to the family budget if she wishes.
The wife herself is responsible for the care of her home and the welfare
of her family. She may express her views and make her suggestions concerning
all matters, but the best role she can play in keeping the marital tie intact
and strong, is to recognise her husband as the person responsible for the
running of the affairs of the family, and thus to obey him even if his
judgement is not acceptable to her, in a particular matter, provided he does
not go beyond the limits of Islam. This is the meaning of obedience in the
context of marriage in Islam. It is a recognition of the role of the husband as
the head of the family unit and the loyalty of both husband and wife to a
higher law, the Shari'a (Islamic Laws.)
Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) has said:
"The best woman is she who, when you see her you feel pleased, and
when you direct her she obeys. She protects your rights and keeps her chastity
when you are absent".
A man is expected to take care of his wife and show consideration to her
and to all women as the weaker sex. The concept of
chivalry had its origin in the early Muslim world, and is held by many scholars
to have passed from the Muslims into Europe at the time of the troubadours of
Mediaeval France.
This concept of chivalry has come in for many blows in the last fifty
years or so as it runs contrary to the present day tendency for women to try
and struggle for their livelihood in a harsh world in the same way as men do.
The Muslim opinion is that she should be spared from these struggles and
worries so that she can give her full attention to the making of a home.
The Muslim woman's role in the home is a vitally important one to the
happiness of the husband and the physical and spiritual development of their children.
Her endeavour is to make her family's life sweet and joyful, and the home a
place of security and peace. This and her early character-training of the children
have a lasting effect on the behaviour and attitudes of the next generation
when they reach adolescence and adulthood. There is a well-known saying in Arabic-al-ummu
madrasatun meaning "the mother is a school", which conveys
the importance of this role.
